GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
