If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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