Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
