what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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