Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
