So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
