just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
