Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize