Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
