You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
