So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
