this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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