Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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