I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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