She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
