it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize