Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
