i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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