Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
