I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
