Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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