Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
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you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
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admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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