This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize