Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
