yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
