I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
