Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
