after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize