he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wish you could order shots online.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
