This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize