i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?