very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.