I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
