seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
