My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
