I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
