I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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