i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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