1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
