so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
