with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
