I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
