we're blogging at a bar
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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