I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
