wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
