turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
