Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
