I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
