He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
jump out the window naked night went bad
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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