We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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