I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize