She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I am naked and annoyed.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
