Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I party with great urgency now.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
