i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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