Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
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I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
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I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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