Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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