I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
